


The Secrets I Keep

by orphan_account



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Post Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-24 11:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1603133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Daddy? Ashley is this some kind of joke?" Ashley swallowed hard and decided just to tell him the truth. Turning to Andy trying to fight tears as he answered "No, its not." Andy looked back at Kala noting her eyes were the same shade of blue as his,  finding his voice he asks "She's mine? Who's else is she?" His chest tightening as he tried to keep himself together Ashley said calmly "Mine, Andy this is our daughter Kala Midnight Purdy-Biersack"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The afternoon in his home office was quiet, staring at his laptop working on more pieces for his clothing line, Ashley Purdy sighed taking a break as he glanced over at his baby girl. She was a precious little thing, just a month old and sound asleep in her bassinet. He couldn't help but fall in love with her more each day. A message from his phone snapped him out of his trance he grabbed it. It was from Andy Biersack, his band mate and best friend, asking to stop by because he had been back home in Ohio. Ashley sent him back a message before realizing Andy didn't know about his daughter currently asleep. Glancing over at her Ashley thought 'As far as he'll know I'm baby sitting you.' her eyes flutter open as she looked over at him a smile coming from behind her pacifier.

"Hi Kala" he said sweetly with a giggle as he reached down to scoop up his little wonder as he gave a heavy sigh

"You had to have his eyes didn't you?" he said softly gazing into the love filled blues. She began to fuss as he calmed her

"Hey now its OK love!" she was hungry, with his phone in his pocket and Kala against him he sang softly to her as he walked into the kitchen placing her in her bouncy seat as he talked to her. Kala's cries had turned into coo's as she watched the blur of colors of Ashley's shirt, as he continued to sing as he warmed a bottle.

_She's got eyes of the bluest skies_  
 _As if they thought of rain_  
 _I hate to look into those eyes_  
 _And see an ounce of pain_

Her attempt to laugh just made him smile even wider as he laughed himself leaning in to press a kiss to her head. The knock on the door took him by surprise when he remembers Andy's text.

"There's daddy!" He said softly as he walked away to get the door his princess fussing because of his absence. "Oh Kala!" He Sighed knowing he had no choice but to leave her for the moment.

"Andy!" He said welcoming his friend with a hug. Kala now crying as Andy asked "you have a kid here?" Ashley just brushed it off as he said "Yeah babysitting if you dare to believe that!"Andy follows Ashley back into the kitchen as he pulls the bottle from the microwave realizing he's heated it too long.

"Kala is going to be mad with me now" he said sitting the bottle in the fridge hoping it would cool quickly. "Maybe I can distract her for you." Andy said picking up the little girl Ashley's instincts kicking in as he said "watch her head." Kala still fussed a little as Andy starts to sing a little.

_"So take your hand in mine it's ours tonight,_  
 _this is a rebel love song_  
 _Hearts will sacrifice it's do or die_  
 _this Is a rebel love song"_

Andy watched as the little baby's cries soften, she seemed to look at him like she knew his voice so he sang a piece of 'Saviour'

_Remember as you learn to try_  
 _To be the one you love_  
 _So I can take this pen_  
 _And teach you how to live_  
 _What is left unsaid_  
 _The greatest gift I give_

Ashley's heart melted as Andy cradled Kala singing as she reached up to him, her hands on each side of his face. Ashley couldn't resist snapping the moment in front of him, with the quote "'Hugging' Daddy". Pressing send before realizing he had actually posted it as a tweet. The split second Ashley had realized what had happen his screen went black flashing an empty battery. Andy's phone sounded as he lay Kala back in her seat pulling his phone from his pocket. Ashley tried to make himself busy checking the bottle that was still too warm for Kala to drink when Andy said.

"Daddy? Ashley is this some kind of joke?" Ashley swallowed hard and decided just to tell him the truth. Turning to Andy trying to fight tears as he answered "No, its not." Andy looked back at Kala noting her eyes were the same shade of blue as his, finding his voice he asks "She's mine? Who's else is she?" His chest tightening as he tried to keep himself together Ashley said calmly "Mine, Andy this is our daughter Kala Midnight Purdy-Biersack" Sensing the tension from her parents Kala again started to fuss, as Ashley checked her bottle deeming it safe for her. Ashley shook the bottle a little before giving it to her.

Andy still trying to process his news he asked "How?" Ashley still fighting back tears as he said simply "How do you think Andy?" Andy shook his head trying to keep his voice calm for is daughter

"Ash why didn't you tell me?" Ashley couldn't keep his tears in anymore as he answered with a his voice cracking "I didn't know how, and I was scared of what would happen to the band." Andy shook he head as he said "Do you honestly think I would let anyone take you away from Black Veil Brides? Ash, Ashley look at me."

The tears on Ashley's face spoke volumes. The older man was literally scared out of his mind right now, Andy lightly scratched Ashley's back as he said "Lets talk after you get her back down ok?" Ashley only nodded as he tried to find something else to talk about but he found himself once again entranced by Kala. "How old is she?" Andy asked snapping Ashley out of his trance.

"6 weeks old and can go through an 8 ounce bottle of formula like its water!" Ashley responded Andy just chuckled "I was told I had a pretty healthy appetite as a kid too." Smiling Ashley looked back at Kala noting her tiny eyes getting heavy. "Give her 10 more minutes and she be gone completely." Ashley said softly Andy chuckled.

"She's beautiful Ashley, you've done an amazing job with her" he said gazing at Kala as Ashley pulled the bottle from her mouth. Not even waking up Ashley lifted one Kala's hands as high as he could letting it drop. "OK now let me get her upstairs in her crib without waking her up." Ashley said scooping Kala up carefully and started up stairs when he looked over his shoulder at Andy

"Come on!" He said softly as Andy followed him up the stairs across from the master bedroom that belonged to his bassist. A lilac colored 'K' painted on the door with silver and gold accents. Ashley opened it to reveal a room in the same lilac color with cherry wood furniture. But what really caught Andy's eye was the mural across from the crib, it was of a picture Andy had only seen once, it was Ashley's parents on their wedding day.

"Did you do this?" Andy asked pointing to the painting. Ashley nodded answering "I had some help with it but, its the only way she'll ever see her grandparents Andy." the tone of sadness broke Andy's heart for Ashley and for their daughter, Ashley reached into a bear pulling out a small iPod with wires coming out of it. Ashley pressed play, Andy heard the familiar words of 'Done For You' very softly coming through a speaker in the bear. Ashley gave Kala a small smile as he reached in to pet her before giving a smile and slipping out. Still silent the two walked down stairs, walking back into the kitchen Ashley mentally preparing himself for a conversation he knew wouldn't be easy.

"Coffee Andy?" Ashley asked softly getting down a simple white mug Ashley sat down at the bar as he said "Sure" Ashley sat down another mug filling Andy's first and set it in front of him reaching in a lower cabinet for the sugar and reached into the fridge for his creamer. He raised it towards Andy as an ofference but Andy just shook his head as Ashley finished making his coffee and walked over across from where Andy sat.

"Let's cut the bullshit, How did you get pregnant, When did you know, and who knows besides me?" Andy said taking a sip of his coffee. Ashley sighed as he sat down with his coffee and stared at his cup for a minute before he spoke. "I knew on tour. Remember those god awful headaches I would get?"

 

* * *

_"Ash you alright sweetheart?" Juliet asked sitting down next to him as he sat with his head in his hands. "My head" was all Ashley could get out without wanting to sob. Their tour manager Shawn looked at him "Think you can make it through tonight Rocket?" he asked watching Ashley cringe at the feel of another sharp pain in his right temple._

_"Oh god just shut up everyone please!" Ashley said this time actually breaking down when Jake walked over kneeling in front of him asking almost in whisper._

_"Can I try something my mom used to use on me?" Ashley didn't answer he just nodded as Jake gave a gentle pat to Ashley's arm as he said in the same tone, "It might smart a little but I've got to use some pressure for this work ok?" Ashley still crying said "If it helps, I don't care."_

_Giving a nod, Jake stood up, running his thumbs along the base of Ashley's skull and some along the back of his neck. After about five minutes Jake stopped and knelt back down next to the bassist. "Give that about 30 minutes It may not take all of the pain away but it will make it some bearable." He said Ashley only nodded with a barely audible 'Thank You'._

_Ashley made it through that night but when the headaches wouldn't let up Shawn demanded Ashley see a doctor after the headache the night before left a large amount of blood on his pillow from his ear. Ashley wasn't going to fabricate his fear of what was making him ill. His first thought was cancer or a tumor of some sort. He had been at the hospital for nearly 5 hours test after test had been run but something had show up on the CATscan they had just finished. There had to have been for them to stop so suddenly and send him back to the room he was sitting in. He was clutching the edge of the table he sat on fighting back the nerves rising bile in his stomach. Breathing deep to try to settle himself the door open to the cute blond who had been coming in and out of his room for the last few hours._

_"Can you tell me anything?" He asked she looked up at him with pretty hazel eyes answering "No I think Dr. Morgan is still doing some research, he should be in soon though." she gave Ashley a sweet smile as she handed him two Tylenol and a cup of water for his headache that had started about 20 minutes ago._  
 _Taking the pills Ashley lay down after the cute nurse exited, 'What in the hell could this be?" he thought his nerves worse than before. It didn't take long for Dr. Morgan to walk through the door. He skipped small talk and asked Ashley straight._

_"Ashley did you ever work in the porn industry between 2000-2005?" Something he wasn't very proud of but still answered the question "Yeah I did a few pieces to get me off the streets." The doctor looking to be in in early 40's sighed as he looked back through his notes "They probably recommended a shot to help your immune system from STDs called Anoxsylin?" Ashley nodded as his nerves got even worse as he listened._

_"There was a reason the industry stopped using that, it caused a side effect that would change the male gender, Are you gay or bi sexual Ashley?" He wasn't sure what to think but again nodded. "Ashley, You're pregnant" He said Ashley felt lightheaded "How?" was all he could manage as he hung his head trying to focus once again._

_"Anoxsylin was originally called Andronox, that was created to help those considering transgender to actually transfer genders naturally, but some how in stead of helping it actually started killing the patients taking it. It was diluted with other things and shipped out to make money for the company. Doctors recommended by adult movie companies started using it, and labeled it as an aid to fight STDs." Dr. Morgan said Ashley looked back up as he said "So what I'm a hermaphrodite or something?"_

_Dr. Morgan straighten up as he glanced back at his notes. "Yes, medically you are a hermaphrodite. As for your headaches, your stressed and the confusion your body is going through with you being pregnant doesn't help." Ashley nodded as he tried to gather his thoughts._

_"This isn't an easy pill to take I imagine." Dr. Morgan said resting his hand on Ashley's shoulder who snapped back to reality as he looked at the doctor scared asking "What do I do or what should I do?"_

_"Think long and hard before you do anything, give it a good week at the most. In the mean time lets get a good look at whats going on inside you" Dr. Morgan said as Ashley nodded as he got up from the bed where he sat following him down the hall. The room was small and the machine let out a soft hum, Ashley lay down on the bed lifting his shirt as instructed. Ashley didn't even realize how cold the gel placed on his skin was with his spinning thoughts._

_"There we are, looks like you're about 8 weeks along, everything looks very good Ashley." Looking at the screen solidified everything for him, it was going to be interesting to hide but he was going to keep this kid. But two questions still loomed in his mind as he cleaned off the gel and Dr. Morgan placed the machine on sleep until it was needed again. "Doc, how come I never had like a period or anything?"_

_"This is where things get interesting, you don't really get periods, you go in to something like a heat. And until you get pregnant, you stay in it." He said as Ashley thought a loud "we'll that explains a lot about the last few weeks, women haven't been that interesting." The doctor chuckled at the explanation. Knowing he needed to ask Ashley takes a breath and goes ahead "how am I going to get this kid out of me? And please tell me not out of my ass!"_

_Dr. Morgan laughed as he answered the younger man "Oh no! When you took the shots it didn't just fix its self to the next available exit trust me. It created a vagina, besides anal delivery is actually very dangerous. It can shred your colon and you'd bleed to death in minutes." Ashely was slightly mortified but it made sense really why he was such a horny bastard nearly every damn day. All though his sudden lack of interest surprised him. With his print out from the ultra sound, some medication for his headaches and a shit more information than he dared to want to know._


	2. Keep Me Safe

"Did anyone know besides the obvious like your grandparents?" Andy asked as desperately as Ashley wanted to say 'No' he knew he shouldn't lie about it. Taking a deep breath he sighed as he answered "Yeah, but only a handful of people knew"  
  
 _"Hey Ash what's the word everything OK?" Shawn asked as Ashley came out of the back. Ashley nodded as he said softly "You're not going to believe this" The older man looked at him funny as the two walked to the car. Ashley waited until they were in the car before handing over the papers. "You have to be kidding me." Shawn said Ashley shook his head as he handed over the print out.  
  
"Oh shit, do you know what you want to do?" Shawn asked as Ashley answered "I want to think about what to do, as in how to tell the fans, as for the baby. . . I want it." Shawn sighed with shake of his head "You realize the label is going to flip their shit right?"  Ashley only nodded when Shawn asked his third question "Ash, how are you going to tell the band?" Ashley let out a sigh as he said "I don't know, I don't even know if i will tell them. I have to tell the label I know that and I have to tell my family. . . as to the boys, we're not going to be on tour longer so I'm not going to be showing. . . Besides I don't know how I'm going to tell Andy."   
  
The last part, that was something he didn't mean to say when Shawn shouted "YOU FUCKED ANDY!? Jesus Christ Purdy! We're trying to shut down they gay rumors about the two of you and you get fucking knocked up by him!?" Ashley found himself near a panic attack as he snapped in tears. "Knock it off man! It's not like I knew this would happen! I'm not some fucking teenage girl trying to keep her boyfriend by lying about being on the fucking pill!"   
  
Shawn relaxed against the driver seat as he answered "I know Ash, I shouldn't have snapped I'm sorry. Now come on dude last thing you need is the guys freaking out about why your crying when we get back to the bus."  Ashley wiped his eyes as Shawn started the car off the pharmacy to pick up his vitamins and medication.  
  
Back on the bus _ _Ashely was_ _questioned  about what the doctor had said "I'm overstressed from touring, he said the stress was causing my headaches and the pressure from my headaches is what caused my ear to bleed." Ashley told CC who looked at him strangely as Jake answered "How in the hell?" Ashley shook his head, pulling out his pill bottle reading the label for carrying it back to his bunk hiding it with the vitamins._  
  
 _"I know stress can be bad news but that much pressure to make blood run out of your ears they should have hospitalized you Ashley." Juliet said as Ashley's hormones were making him annoyed with Juliet but he just kept his mouth shut as he took the papers to his medication to read over them. "Yeah I thought they would have too." He said as he sat down. Looking through the papers it was just as he expected "I can't drink for a while" He said secretly using the excuse because of his baby._  
  
 _"Sucks to be you" Jake said when Ella smacked his arm as she said softly "Don't be so rude!"  Ashley just chuckled as he walked back to his bunk when he heard Ella remark "See what you did! You hurt him!"_  
  
 _"No He didn't Ella I'm just a bit tired from the some of the shit they gave me at the ER." He said smiling at her and continued to his bunk knowing they had a sound check in two hours Ashley still set a timer on his phone just in case he did nod off. Ashley climbed into his bunk as he searched on his phone about everything he could about pregnancy. Some users on a website recommended taking vitamins at night to keep them from feeling sick, some said it was safe to work out while pregnant as long as you were careful. This would be Ashley's game plan he would keep working out, and take his vitamins at night, it was then when Ashley thought about his medication and looked at the label and read "Take at bedtime, how perfect." He thought as he lay the bottle down and started to think._  
  
 _They had three months left on tour, so 12 - 15 weeks in total depending on how the months ran. He was already 8 weeks or roughly two months in meaning he'd be around four or five months along, possibly six. . . fuck he hoped he wasn't showing by then. He groaned closing his eyes wondering how he was going to explain this insanity to Andy._  
  
 _Ashley was startled out of a deep sleep by a knock on his bunk before CC pulled the curtain back. "Ash come on dude sound check and Shawn's going to have your head if you don't get out there." Ashley looked up at him and pulled his phone from his side cursing. "Fuck!" he said jump up pulling on his boots as he stood up grasping CC when he nearly fell. "Slow down bro!" he said with a chuckle as he followed the bassist into the venue when he nearly knocked over Shawn._  
  
 _"Whoa where's the fire Ash?" Jinxx says watching him jump on stage. "I'm sorry guys I slept through my alarm." He said picking up his bass pulling it over his head when Shawn said "Your fine Ashley! Let's get this going guys We have a meet and greet in 2 hours!"_  
  
 _"Test your mic and bass for me Ash." said the sound manager Tony. After thinking for a second Ashley started on a riff before singing into the mic Andy started to join him when he recognized the song by AFI "The Leaving Song" Jake joined in the middle and near the end with a few chords he could remember from the song._  
  
 _"OK we need to turn you up a bit you guys want to try a Brides song now?" Tony said the band spoke for a few moments before picking 'Children Surrender' as a tester. The few adjustments brought on the perfect sound and allowed the band a little down time before the nights show._  
  
 _Back in the dressing room a bottle of Jack Daniels was going around, Ashley wanted it but he knew he couldn't and waved it off to the shock of Andy, Jinxx, and CC who had been away from the bus when he had returned earlier._  
  
 _"The medication he has to take prevents him from being able to drink for a little while."Jake clarifying for them as to why the die hard whiskey kid was saying no to his favorite drink._  
  
 _"Sorry Ash." Jinxx said feeling a little bad for the older man as he just shrugged it off and decided to go back to the bus so he excused himself._  
  
 _"Andy what did you do with them damnnit!?" Juliet said searching his bunk for her ear buds he had borrowed the day before when his stopped working. Hearing something clink to the floor she looked down see her searched for prize reaching down to pick them up she knelt by Ashley's bunk. Looking up she spied a pink and white bottle with 'Prenatal Vitmains' on the lable._  
  
 _"What the hell?" she asked thinking for a moment when she saw a black and white object behind the bottle and picked it up realizing what she was looking at. "Oh My God" she said._  
  
 _"Hey Juliet" She heard turning to see Ashley walking towards her he noticed what she was holding "What are you doing?" He asked telling she was scared that she just got caught. Sensing his fear she asked him honestly "Ash what is this?" She held up both the picture and the bottle._  
  
 _Ashley bit his lip "I'm 8 weeks pregnant, but please don't tell any one Juliet. I will when I'm ready, but I just found out." He said with tears stinging his eyes as she rushed to him hugging him. "Is it Andy's?" she asked knowing the two fooled around a little bit when she had to be away from her boyfriend and honestly, she didn't mind._  
  
 _"Despite my reputation, he's the only one I've been with. But like I asked before please don't tell him I will when I'm ready." Ashley said watching her nod and put away the items under Ashley's pillow. When reached in grabing his earlier discarded phone. "Hey Ash were ordering food you want any thing?" Andy asked walking in to spy the unknown pregnant bassist getting up from his bunk with Juliet's help. "Hey sweetheart" Andy said pressing a kiss to her forehead as she held up the earbuds._  
  
 _For some reason watching them made Ashley feel alone, he wanted to move them apart and walk away but he brushed off his emotions and walked way from the couple asking "Where are we ordering from?" when they started to follow him back to the venue where Jake, Jinxx, and CC were having some discussion about Concept bands._  
  
 _"Madina Lake was a genius idea that started with one of the brothers writing a story place called Madina Lake and a missing socialite named Adalia, and each album is supposed to be another piece to the puzzle to the story and you have to figure it out what happened and who did it." CC said as Ashley added "Too bad it got to be too much for the band and they gave up on the idea."_  
  
 _CC looked at him confused as he asked "And you know this how?" Ashley just looked at him "I read it online? Now someone mentioned ordering food?" He said as Jake just laughed._  
  
 _Enjoying a little time alone after a show Ashely picked up his newest picture of the baby, now 12 weeks pregnant he was so far doing a good job of hiding it. It helped he wasn't showing and hopefully wouldn't for a little longer even though Juliet had promised to help him when that time came. He had gotten to hear the heartbeat today and it almost made him cry._  
  
 _"Ashley!" he heard jumping when the curtain pulled back to reveal Andy grinning like an idiot his hand quickly shoving the pic under his butt. "How many times do I have to ask your yankee ass Do Not Do That?!" He said trying to swipe at him only to miss when Andy jumped back laughing._  
  
 _"What do you want and keep it down I know CC and Jinxx are asleep. Jake might still be on the phone with Ella." Ash asked his heart calming down from the fright Andy had given him. "I just wanted to see you a minute, like you know privately. I love being with Jules but I kind of miss being with you. I'm grateful she's ok with us." There was a sparkle in Andy's eyes that made Ashley smile, but something made that sparkle fade when he spoke. "I'm going to have to choose between the two of you one day. I love you both though with all my heart."_  
  
 _Ashley's smile faded as took Andy's hand as he said "I know you do." He started to say something else when Andy spoke "I better get some sleep, you too Ashes. I love you" Ashley blushed letting his smile come back as Andy leaned in giving a much longed for kiss to Ashley. "Good night Angel Eyes." Ashley said watching Andy blush with a smile. "Night Outlaw."_  
  
 _Ashley made himself comfortable again, on the verge of falling to sleep when Juliet woke him up "Hey did you take your meds?" she asked Ashley thought for a moment and got up "If I didn't have to worry about Andy killing me I would kiss you Jules!" He said heading to the front of the bus getting a small bottle of water when he heard from Andy's bunk "I heard that! And it's a one time thing so Ash be my guest!" He said pulling back the curtain watching Ashley place a quick kiss on Juliet before he hurried on with his mission. Andy pulled the curtain back to once Juliet promised to come to bed soon._  
  
 _With her boyfriend content for a moment Juliet reached in Ashley's bunk pulling out the new ultrasound pic smiling excitedly as Ashley walked back cracking open the bottle digging for his meds and his vitamins. Juliet whispered in his ear "Did you tell him?" Ashley only shook his head as Juliet patted his back with a nod._  
  
 _The supportive gesture gave Ashley comfort when she asked "What are you going to do about the flight to Ireland tomorrow, it's really not safe for you to fly pregnant." Ashley sighed as he climbed back in his bunk as he spoke "I can't miss, I mean I know I'm risking my baby but their not going to be able to find some on such short notice." Ashley stared at the bunk above him with his hand on his belly._  
  
 _Juliet rested her hand on Ashley's and gave him a smile when Andy called out sleepily. "Dragonfly you coming or what?" Juliet gave a chuckle as she said with a pat on Ashley's hand. "Yeah Babe I'm coming." She gave Ashley a wink as she got up pulling the curtain to as Ashley looked at the ultrasound picture his hand again unconsciously resting on his belly. He tucked the picture away feeling sleep trying to claim him. With his hand on his stomach he spoke softly hoping none of the boys heard him. "I hope nothing happens with you tomorrow and our flight." He said, with that he pulled the blanket up to him and closed his eyes._  
  
 _Ashley and the boys had their things in hand as the were getting ready to fly to Ireland. Andy was saying his goodbyes to Juliet as let go walking over to Ashley offering a hug while whispering in his ear._  
  
 _"Everything will be just fine with your little one. Just try to enjoy the flight and your time there ok?" Ashley just smiled and nodded as they separated and boarded the plane. "You two seem close here lately." Andy said resting his hand Ashley's shoulder as he responded "Yeah she's help me figure some things out."_  
  
 _Boarded and made himself comfortable Ashley tried to keep himself busy sketching out designs for his clothing line when the plane started to take off. Ashley just sat his things down and held on the arms of his chair._  
  
 _Once in the air Ashley wasn't quite sure what was wrong all he knew was something was off. Two hours in to their flight Ashley got a sharp pain in his stomach. He resisted crying out because he had to remind himself no one knew._  
  
 _His pains had gotten worse in the last few hours of his flight, when he felt something wet he got up going to the bathroom where he found blood on his clothes. He knew the risk of flying but he also regretted himself. A quick text to Juliet and he had' a doctors appointment in Dublin as soon as he landed._  
  
 _One they made it there and set up Ashley quickly went to the doctor by the address Juliet had given him. His pains were still strong but Ashley had kept himself together. Outside the building Ashley paid the cab driver and walked inside. Two nurses helped him sign in then rushed him to a room._  
  
 _After nearly 7 hours of having to hide his emotions Ashley lay on the table sobbing, his clothes had been changed, a doctor was feeling around his belly when a sudden rush of blood came. The Doctor flipped on the ultrasound as he pressed the wand against Ashley's stomach. A relief washed over Ashley when the familiar strong heartbeat came through the speakers. "It looks as if You've had a ruptured cyst, don't worry your baby is just fine."_


	3. Chapter 3

At three and a half months Ashley was watching everything like a hawk, from his cravings to how tight he let his clothes be on and off stage. Juliet had made some alterations but he knew he need new ones quickly. He had even starting wearing shirts on stage to much of the fans surprise.

Though he wasn't showing Ashley felt like he was everyday and Juliet was willing to let him whine to her in private or by text. The band was back in the US for the month with part a few dates in Canada, they would then travel from there through northern states of Ohio, Illinois, and Iowa with a day break off for Andy, Jake, and Jinxx to visit family and friends.  
  
It would then the next two weeks would be a few midwest shows before winding down in their hometown of Hollywood CA, and take a about a good 6 months break before the band started on their new album they had all discussed by fall. Ashley and Andy had already been working on a few songs already.  
  
But Ashley pushed the thoughts about work a side as he rested in his hotel bed his guitar in his lap as he played around with a couple of chord combinations trying to work on a song. One he wasn't sure he would write for the band or keep to himself and use on his own album one day. As his mind blanked on lyrics Ashley decided to pick a favorite song to just enjoy.  
  
 _i don't need to be a superman_  
 _as long as you will always be my biggest fan_  
 _heaven isn't too far away_  
 _closer to it every day_  
  
Ashley stopped at the feeling of bubbles in his stomach, he had remember once reading about how movement felt like popping bubbles or butterflies. Moving his guitar on the bed he couldn't help but laugh as the little being inside him continued to kick and jump.  
  
A sudden knock at his door startled him slightly he pulled on a flannel shirt. Juliet smiled on the other side "Hey little Mama!" She said excitedly as she stepped inside Ashley relaxed a little as he closed the door as he said "Oh you missed it! The baby was moving when I was playing guitar!" Juliet couldn't help but smile at his excitement when she checked her phone "Aw!! Hey that appointments in 20 minutes."  
  
Ashley pulled on a pair jeans, they were the biggest pair he owned but still it was getting harder to button them. "Ok I have got to get out and shop today I'm worried about the pressure these could be putting on her." Ashley said as he grabbed his shirt and a pair of boots. Juliet just nodded as she answered "Yeah we're going shopping after the appointment and I'm picking out something for the baby, No arguing!" Ashley didn't respond as he just laughed and nodded.  
  
The private doctor's office was just a few blocks away from the hotel, a quick bit of paper work done and Ashley was taken back. Juliet stayed behind for the time being. After the usuals of blood pressure &; temperature, Ashley was resting back against the table. He was sending another crazy message to CC when the doctor came in.  
  
Ashley quickly sent his message and closed his phone "Hello Ashley!" she said giving him a smile. Ashley gave her one back as she asked him a few questions about how he had been recently and had anything unusual been going on with the baby. Most of her answers were what she had expected. He had been fine and nothing on usual had been going on. With that she asked him to lie back and lift his shirt, He followed the procedure as she stepped out of the room to pull in the ultrasound machine.  
  
As it came on she lightly presses on Ashley's belly finding the baby as Ashley asked "why am I not showing yet?" She gave a chuckle answering as she squeezed the cold gel that made Ashley jump a bit.  
  
"Not everybody shows when they think they should be, with you being a male you one will have a very small bump or may not even show at all. it all depends on your body." The response made Ashley slightly worried as he again spoke "Will that harm my baby?"  
  
The doctor cracked a smile at him as she turn the monitor his way and said "You mean your daughter?" Ashley felt tears prick his eyes at the word 'daughter' He just stared at the screen as he listened "No, that won't harm the baby, she may have a little bit a low weight but nothing that would require a hospital stay unless she's born early." Ashley snapped his attention to her, a new question causing a new worry.

  
"What are the odds of that happening?" he asked then wondering why he was being so talkative today. "Male pregnancies tend to have earlier delivery than a woman's pregnancy. It's usually anywhere from 2-5 weeks earlier than the projected due date. The biggest concern would be making sure your past week 35. Even at that, it may require a hospital stay. Its all depending on her, and as far as I can see here she's doing great Ashley." Ashley thanked her and left to tell an excited Juliet waiting in the lobby.

  
Andy looked at him for a moment as he asked "Was she early?" Ashley snapped out of his thoughts as he caught the flash of the metal lighter sporting the letter 'A'. "Oh no don't! You are not smoking at my house Biersack!" Andy rolled his eyes as he responded "As if I would even think about doing that around you! Especially when you have to take care of our daughter?" Andy said, surprised the comment leaving Ashley breathless. Andy closed the lighter and spoke "I'm trying to quit actually." as he lay his hand on top of Ashley's. He took the bassist's hand pressing a kiss to the top making Ashley blush as he said. "Tell me about the day she was born."

 

 

  
Stepping out of the shower Ashley ran a towel through his hair and over his body pausing as he caught his reflection in the mirror. The band was on the last few days of the tour and had been talking about taking a break, at least a few months. Ashley still had another 3 months left then maybe another month before he could start working out, and get his body back to what it used to be. Looking at the small swell no bigger that two stacked fists, he smiled at the harder kicks beneath his skin. "Ashes! Band meeting and were waiting for you!" Jinxx yelled out making Ashley jump slightly "I'm on my way bro!" He said trying not to sound pissy. For some reason Jinxx had been annoying the hell out of him.  
  
"He doesn't know Ashley just relax you know how much of soft ass he can be." Ashley said to himself as he pulled on his clothes making sure his bump didn't show. He grabbed his towel and threw it over his head as he hurried into the a living room like spot that was in the center of the pent house they had been placed in thanks to a new girls screw up with their room booking.  
  
"Ok guys I know you have talked about taking a break I know we also want to get to work on the new album, Jake and Jinxx, thats not very hard for the two of you. As for Andy, Ashley, and CC it's not quite that easy." Everyone nodded listening to their manager Jon as he asked "Are you guys wanting time with family or are there other things going on in your lives that require time off?" Ashley slightly irritated at the man for asking such a personal question.  
  
"I need some time with Sam." Jinxx said as Jake nodded in agreement. "Ella's thinking about moving to the US. I'm going to need to help her with all the right papers and things." He said as Andy spoke next  
  
"My family's been asking me to come see them." Ashley nodded as he spoke  
  
"Same here, my grandma's not been in the greatest health lately and I'd like to get out there to check on her."  
  
The other members gave him a nod, they knew Ashley had gotten some phone calls recently where his grandmother had been placed in the hospital for her heart. An issue she had dealt with all of her life.  
  
"Ash you do know if we need to Jinxx or I could fill in on Bass for you on the new record then just go over the cords with you when you get back." Jake said Ashley gave a nod "Yeah lets do that. It's going to be strange because I didn't come up with them but it's what we need to do."  
  
"So how long are we thinking boys? three, maybe four months?" with each member giving a nod the boys each retreated to there rooms to unwind before they hit the road again in the morning.  
  
Ashley had just stepped back into his room when he heard a knock on the door. He walked ever opening it to Jon. "Hey man can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked as Ashley gave him a nod stepping a side to let him in.  
  
"Shawn told me about the baby." Jon said as Ashley for some reason look down, he quickly said  
  
"Hey man it's ok, the label actually wants you to take an extra two months off to help you. Give you and the baby plenty time together, are you thinking about keeping her at home or bringing her on tour next time?" Ashley just sighed shaking his head "I haven't thought about it honestly Jon, I still haven't told Andy."  
  
Jon rested his hand on Ashley's shoulder, as he said "You'll find away, just take it a day at a time." Ashley thanked him as he said good night and made his way to his own room.

  
Coming home hadn't felt so good but Ashley also knew he had a road still ahead, He walked into room across from his own. He had the idea to follow Jake and Jinxx idea to make a home studio. But now it looked like he was going to need it for other reasons.  
  
Day by day he moved guitars, amps, and basses down into his Office and started ordering furniture to set up in the room. It was later when he was visiting back home he found his parents wedding picture, he had gone home after a frantic call from his Aunt when his grandmother was rushed to the ER after a heart attack and vomiting blood.  
  
Ashley had hoped the last scare would be his last rush trip home. That turned out not to be the case when he was close to his due date. Ashley had been resting working on a few pieces for his clothing line when his phone rang, his grandpa's picture coming up.  
  
"Hey grandpa." He said sitting down his sketch book and rested his hand on his now well obvious bump. "Ashley, It's your grandma." Ashley felt his blood run cold as he asked "I . . . Is she ok?" the silence was making him sick as he listened "It's her heart, and it's not good son. I know with the baby you can't travel but your grandma wanted me to call you." Ashley could only say thank you, asked him to keep him posted, tell his grandma he loved her and reminded his grandpa he loved him too.  
  
Hanging up the phone Ashley couldn't focus and He thought about calling Juliet but she was with Andy and ran risk of him hearing or reading texts. He decided to text a close friend Asia Madeline, she was over in minutes. The moment the door closed Ashley just sobbed on her shoulder for several moments before she finally calmed him, reminding him the stress wasn't good for the baby.  
  
An hour after Asia came over Ashley started to feel odd, not sick, but not ok either. Asia offered to stay the night knowing the bassist was due any moment, explaining Andy had gone home to see family. Ashley thanked her and went to lie down the bright eyed red head gave him a nod and watch him head off to his room.  
  
Asia started to cook when Ashley got up feeling some better two hours later, but it would be another 20 minutes before a strong pain washed through his stomach, waist, and some down the back of his legs. "What the hell!?" Ashley groaned from the couch, Asia rushed to find him curled in holding his small bump. "Ash? what happened?" she asked running her fingers down his back. "I, I'm not sure, I think I had a contraction."  
  
"Should I call Darcie?" she asked asking about the midwife Ashley had been seeing in the last few months to avoid being caught. "They just started so I don't think so just yet, I mean they could be false labor." He said sitting back against the couch letting go of a breath he didn't realise he was holding.  
  
His contractions were sporadic at first, then they started to become regular at 15 minutes apart. When he started getting sick thanks to the pain, Asia asked again about calling Darcie. His contractions started coming at eight minutes apart, though they sometimes felt closer than that. With his current contraction settled Ashley had gotten up for a bottle of water offering one to Asia who thanked him but said no.  
  
Walking back Ashley felt a pop from the inside the for a second brushed it off until he felt something warm on his legs and look down to realize what had happen.  
"Asia? Call Darcie?" he said just in time as a contraction stronger than the last few hit him hard.  
  
Darcie arrived not long after but still in time for Ashley's contractions to get tighter at 6 minutes apart. Asia was trying comfort him through a contraction when there was a knock at the door. "Just relax and remember to breathe." She said hurrying to the door. Darcie and Asia spoke about Ashley for a few minutes as they walked into the living room. The bassist lying on his side trying to relieve some pressure that had begun to build in his hips.  
  
"Hey you!" Darcie said kneeling next to the couch as he tried to smile up at her, She opened up her bag and pulled out a pair of blue exam gloves and slipped them on as she asked "How do you feel?" the killing look she received explained everything as she just chuckled and petted him for a moment then lightly pressed around his belly.  
  
Ashley tried to distract himself from the thought of someone looking between his legs, but at the same time it was a reminder he was going to have a baby coming out of him as a woman would her own body. Ashley knew his pregnancy had been real but his current thoughts made everything hit him like a train.  
  
He was about to deliver a child, Andy's child. He was snapped out of his thoughts as Darcie spoke "You're doing really well but you still have a little to go before the princess can join us, You're at 6 cm. . .4 more to go kid." She patted his now bare knee as he looked up at her asking "How long could that take?"  
  
"Eh, couple hours maybe? Long enough for you to find where you want to have the baby, I recommend your bed that way we're right by the bathroom, because the closer you get the more pain you're going to get into. And sometimes hot water is the best recommendation I can give to help ease the pain. Are you sure you still want to have Her at home? We have plenty of time if you want to make it to a hospital." She said watching him shake his head.


End file.
